Saturday, March 17, 2007

Curses! Foiled again!

Duncan Disorderly lost another tooth today, meaning that tonight I get to engage in one of my favorite tasks of parenthood - being the Tooth Fairy. And by favorite, I mean this:

Tooth Fairy Duty sucks.

I don't even know why I do it. The little skeptic has accused me of being the Tooth Fairy on more than one occasion...as he put it once, "You know, any grown-up could just sneak in after I'm sleeping and take my tooth and leave a dollar...probably YOU!" I staunchly deny it, and he doesn't push further. My guess is he doesn't want to risk losing the dollar. So with every tooth, I sneak in and replace it in the wee hours. Mind you, this boy sleeps with one arm under his pillow, and he is a light sleeper. So this task takes me forever. I have to creep slowly over to his bed in the darkness, then gently ease one hand under his pillow while trying to avoid his arm - and believe me, a tiny little tooth becomes extremely hard to find under these conditions. Sometimes he wakes a bit and I dive out of sight, holding still until he resettles. All told, I usually come out of his room a half hour later with sore knees and a grouchy disposition. All for a kid whose belief in the Tooth Fairy is tenuous at best.

So tonight, I thought I could save myself the hassle with a little sleight-of-hand. After our nightly reading, he climbed under the covers and placed the tooth under his pillow. As he reached up to me for his habitual "hug-and-kiss-and-squeeze", I surreptitiously slid my hand under his pillow and palmed the tooth, taking it with me as I turned off the lights and left. And I held my breath. And I thought, "Man, I'm a genious." And then, alas:

"Mooooommmmm!" sigh.

"I can't find my tooth!" came the call from his room. What could I do? As I entered, he was sitting in the dark running his hand along the sheet under his pillow. So I also ran my hand along the sheet in the dark, replacing the tooth as I did so. "Oh, thank goodness!" he said as he resettled. "I was going to sleep with my hand right on my tooth so I don't lose it."

Oh, I'm going to have fun tonight.

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