At one time or another, you've probably received that joke e-mail, "How to Give a Cat a Pill". Funny stuff; I can definitely relate. What I had not realized until today, however, is that the world is long overdue for "How to Give an Eight Year Old a Pill". Maybe the title just doesn't flow as well. But oh....my....Gods.
Duncan Disorderly has reached that awkward age in the world of medicine. Cough syrups still cater to his age, stuff like Triaminic, Robitussin, Dimetapp - fine if he needs a multi-symptom cold and flu remedy. Anything else, it seems, either comes in ineffectually low-dosage toddler drops intended for 6 and under; and actual swallow-it-with-water pills, which he doesn't feel ready to handle. Now Duncan has been in need of a good decongestant for several days (I have apparently changed my name to "Bob", for one thing.) He seemed highly resistant to the idea of nasal spray, and since I did not relish my mental projection of trying to stuff a little spray bottle up the nose of a struggling 52 pound child, I took a deep breath and gambled on the pills.
For children ages 6-12: 1 pill. One very tiny pill. Coated. An aspirin would dwarf this pill. And I know, or at least deeply suspect, that the child has in the past ingested balled-up paper, bits of eraser, small pebbles, and the unpopped kernels at the bottom of his popcorn bag. Yet within half an hour he had not only failed to swallow the pill, he had very nearly worked himself into a full-blown anxiety attack.
For some reason, he just couldn't do it. Per my instructions, he put the pill on his tongue and drank the water....and then the pill was still there, in his mouth. Then the coating would wear off and the taste would come through....and this taste was SOOO HORRIBLE that there was simply no way he could continue. He became terrified of the bad taste, which was apparently "WORSE THAN TEN HIPPOPOTAMUSES (sic) WITH FUR", and he did not want to hear that the tiny tiny pill would take far less time to swallow than ten hippopotamuses with fur.
I played through my entire repertoire, from pleading to reasoning, bargaining to just flat out putting my foot down and insisting. And yes, I did occasionally allow him to get a fresh pill. Not every time, mind you...I mean, I only had one box. But when the coating wore completely off, I would get a new one to keep him trying (although the thought did occur to me that in thirty, maybe forty more tries, the pill might just dissolve altogether and spare me the hassle.)
Several times I felt a rush of excitement as I thought he had managed it, only to find the pill at the bottom of his water glass. I even critiqued his water-drinking style, attempting to figure out the problem. As a result, I may never share a drink with him again, as I previously had no idea how much of the water falls back into the glass while he is drinking. Near as I can tell, the boy drinks by holding his mouth open and tilting sufficient quantities of fluid into it. I had to give a tutorial on how to tilt a water glass, drink and swallow the water in one's mouth before tilting the glass back to an upright position. Then, back to the blister pack for another pill.
After a total of forty-five minutes, a half gallon of tears, and six decongestant pills in the trash, the pill went down. And this boy, who had sobbed and railed and screamed "I JUST CAN'T DO IT" the whole time, was now soooo proud of himself. The tears dried and the attitude clicked over like the flipping of a light switch. Why, that was so simple. I can take pills just like a grownup!
Please, oh please, tell me that this is a "first time" thing, a six-minute mile, a mind over matter situation. Tell me that now that he's done it and knows he can, he'll just do it. 'Cause know what? The decongestant is actually working pretty well, and will continue to work....
...for the next 4 to 6 hours.
Duncan Disorderly has reached that awkward age in the world of medicine. Cough syrups still cater to his age, stuff like Triaminic, Robitussin, Dimetapp - fine if he needs a multi-symptom cold and flu remedy. Anything else, it seems, either comes in ineffectually low-dosage toddler drops intended for 6 and under; and actual swallow-it-with-water pills, which he doesn't feel ready to handle. Now Duncan has been in need of a good decongestant for several days (I have apparently changed my name to "Bob", for one thing.) He seemed highly resistant to the idea of nasal spray, and since I did not relish my mental projection of trying to stuff a little spray bottle up the nose of a struggling 52 pound child, I took a deep breath and gambled on the pills.
For children ages 6-12: 1 pill. One very tiny pill. Coated. An aspirin would dwarf this pill. And I know, or at least deeply suspect, that the child has in the past ingested balled-up paper, bits of eraser, small pebbles, and the unpopped kernels at the bottom of his popcorn bag. Yet within half an hour he had not only failed to swallow the pill, he had very nearly worked himself into a full-blown anxiety attack.
For some reason, he just couldn't do it. Per my instructions, he put the pill on his tongue and drank the water....and then the pill was still there, in his mouth. Then the coating would wear off and the taste would come through....and this taste was SOOO HORRIBLE that there was simply no way he could continue. He became terrified of the bad taste, which was apparently "WORSE THAN TEN HIPPOPOTAMUSES (sic) WITH FUR", and he did not want to hear that the tiny tiny pill would take far less time to swallow than ten hippopotamuses with fur.
I played through my entire repertoire, from pleading to reasoning, bargaining to just flat out putting my foot down and insisting. And yes, I did occasionally allow him to get a fresh pill. Not every time, mind you...I mean, I only had one box. But when the coating wore completely off, I would get a new one to keep him trying (although the thought did occur to me that in thirty, maybe forty more tries, the pill might just dissolve altogether and spare me the hassle.)
Several times I felt a rush of excitement as I thought he had managed it, only to find the pill at the bottom of his water glass. I even critiqued his water-drinking style, attempting to figure out the problem. As a result, I may never share a drink with him again, as I previously had no idea how much of the water falls back into the glass while he is drinking. Near as I can tell, the boy drinks by holding his mouth open and tilting sufficient quantities of fluid into it. I had to give a tutorial on how to tilt a water glass, drink and swallow the water in one's mouth before tilting the glass back to an upright position. Then, back to the blister pack for another pill.
After a total of forty-five minutes, a half gallon of tears, and six decongestant pills in the trash, the pill went down. And this boy, who had sobbed and railed and screamed "I JUST CAN'T DO IT" the whole time, was now soooo proud of himself. The tears dried and the attitude clicked over like the flipping of a light switch. Why, that was so simple. I can take pills just like a grownup!
Please, oh please, tell me that this is a "first time" thing, a six-minute mile, a mind over matter situation. Tell me that now that he's done it and knows he can, he'll just do it. 'Cause know what? The decongestant is actually working pretty well, and will continue to work....
...for the next 4 to 6 hours.
1 comment:
hey girl! I linked you back! :-)
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