My profile says that I am "klutzy and forgetful and spacy" - so far that's not something I've really highlighted in my posts. But I guarantee you it's true. It's so true that my husband now calls my many mishaps "Songbird Moments" (but insert my real first name there.) Truly, if I were an actual songbird, I'd have met my demise long ago by flying into a glass sliding door. I find new and interesting ways to injure myself on a regular basis. I also lose keys, sunglasses, replacement keys, gloves, replacement sunglasses, my wallet, ad infinitum. And so, in the interest of Truth in Advertising, I shall illustrate my profile's veracity by giving you the highlights of my day.
8:07 a.m. - My phone woke me. "Did you get lost?" my husband inquired. With the little guy spending the night with friends, I had kept the car last night so that I could go out, with the understanding that I would get up early in the morning and pick my husband up from work at 8am. As I grabbed shoes and keys in a panic and ran for the door, I took a moment to examine the treacherous alarm that I had dutifully set for...hmmm...seven o'clock P.M. One of my recurring Greatest Hits, that.
4:00 p.m. - While out running errands I decided to also stop at Goodwill, where I had recently seen an espresso machine for a few dollars and decided to give it a try. (Have I mentioned that I love Goodwill?) Today was a very windy day, and as I prepared to leave my car in the parking lot the wind snatched the handle from my grasp and banged the door into the van beside me - fortunately, no harm done and no dirty looks from anyone. Cursing the wind and the stooopid car, I locked the door, slammed it shut, turned to stalk away and nearly took a header on the pavement as something yanked me back. A large portion of my coattail was wedged and locked in the car. At this point I also realized that the van was not unoccupied, as the man in the driver's seat nearly cried laughing. I had to laugh as well as I dug around for my keys, unlocked the car and extricated myself.
5:30 p.m. - While cooking one of my very spicy dinner recipes, I got an itch right around my eye. Now, I have learned (and RE-learned, many a time) not to rub my eyes with my fingers while cooking, so with both hands extended away from me I brushed my sleeve across my face. Alas, I can only guess that I'd managed to drag my sleeve across the cutting board at some point, because this tactic did not work. I've irritated my eyes with pepper oil from my hands before, but this felt more like I'd decided to mash an entire Thai pepper into my eye socket. For the next five minutes I could only stand in breathless pain with a dishtowel jammed against my eye. For another ten minutes I alternated between running cold water over my face and trying unsuccessfully to open my eye. I fleetingly considered medical attention, or perhaps an exciting new career as a pirate. Finally I could see again and finish dinner, but for the next 30, maybe 40 minutes my eye continued to burn pretty sensationally.
And lo! We come to the end of the day, it's all quiet on the homefront and I'm still in one piece. Now (carefully) off to bed, with the fervent hope that there will not be any posts forthcoming regarding espresso-related trauma.
8:07 a.m. - My phone woke me. "Did you get lost?" my husband inquired. With the little guy spending the night with friends, I had kept the car last night so that I could go out, with the understanding that I would get up early in the morning and pick my husband up from work at 8am. As I grabbed shoes and keys in a panic and ran for the door, I took a moment to examine the treacherous alarm that I had dutifully set for...hmmm...seven o'clock P.M. One of my recurring Greatest Hits, that.
4:00 p.m. - While out running errands I decided to also stop at Goodwill, where I had recently seen an espresso machine for a few dollars and decided to give it a try. (Have I mentioned that I love Goodwill?) Today was a very windy day, and as I prepared to leave my car in the parking lot the wind snatched the handle from my grasp and banged the door into the van beside me - fortunately, no harm done and no dirty looks from anyone. Cursing the wind and the stooopid car, I locked the door, slammed it shut, turned to stalk away and nearly took a header on the pavement as something yanked me back. A large portion of my coattail was wedged and locked in the car. At this point I also realized that the van was not unoccupied, as the man in the driver's seat nearly cried laughing. I had to laugh as well as I dug around for my keys, unlocked the car and extricated myself.
5:30 p.m. - While cooking one of my very spicy dinner recipes, I got an itch right around my eye. Now, I have learned (and RE-learned, many a time) not to rub my eyes with my fingers while cooking, so with both hands extended away from me I brushed my sleeve across my face. Alas, I can only guess that I'd managed to drag my sleeve across the cutting board at some point, because this tactic did not work. I've irritated my eyes with pepper oil from my hands before, but this felt more like I'd decided to mash an entire Thai pepper into my eye socket. For the next five minutes I could only stand in breathless pain with a dishtowel jammed against my eye. For another ten minutes I alternated between running cold water over my face and trying unsuccessfully to open my eye. I fleetingly considered medical attention, or perhaps an exciting new career as a pirate. Finally I could see again and finish dinner, but for the next 30, maybe 40 minutes my eye continued to burn pretty sensationally.
And lo! We come to the end of the day, it's all quiet on the homefront and I'm still in one piece. Now (carefully) off to bed, with the fervent hope that there will not be any posts forthcoming regarding espresso-related trauma.
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