Sunday, August 26, 2007

Where's Wall-Do?

Seems I'm not moving this weekend. There's a tiny problem with the drywall guy. He's gone.

Not 'too busy' or 'canceled' or anything. Just failed to show up, and failing to answer any calls. And without proper walls, we can't move in. The frustrated new landlord was highly apologetic on the phone, swearing that he's calling every drywall guy he can think of, asking not 'how much' but 'how soon can you be here?'. But alas, this is a small college town, and school's just starting up. Drywall guys everywhere are booked solid, as the apartment business just soars this time of year. So we're looking at another week, minimum.

Fortunately for us, we are required to give our current landlord notice from the 1st of the month, and therefore were already going to be paying one more month's rent at our current place. This seemed like an expensive inconvenience at the time, but now it seems like a hidden blessing - if push comes to shove, we're fine to stay where we are for up to another month.

Also, it gives us more time to fix up what we can and thoroughly clean our current apartment. If we're to pay another month's rent here, all the more reason to try and get our full deposit back, yes? Today's project - fix that broken kitchen faucet handle that's been driving me crazy for ages.

I wasn't smart enough to bring the broken one to the store...and realized when I got there that I wasn't entirely sure what I was looking for. I settled on a 'universal' faucet set that claimed to 'replace most handles'. Out of the package at home, however, it did not seem to be a match. Even with the variously shaped inserts to the new handles, the 'stem' I was looking at on the sink did not, in fact, seem remotely compatible.

Still, I could see that the part could be unscrewed, and I began to think that maybe this was part of the old handle, and that if I unscrewed that, I would find the sort of stem I was supposed to be looking for. Those of you who see where this is going, stop your tittering immediately. Who's telling the story, here?

I had the part mostly unscrewed...suddenly it burst off as water began SHOOTING from the handle. Panicking and sputtering, I grabbed the piece and jammed it back into the hole, trying desperately to screw it back into place. I was loath to let go long enough to turn off the water, as my efforts were at least staunching the flow somewhat. But as the part refused to go back in and the water rapidly warmed (oh, why did it have to be the HOT water handle), I realized my options were narrowing quickly. I dropped the piece and dived under the sink for the main shutoff, as the water reached geyser proportions.

Water now off, I stood back up and surveyed the chaos. Sudden, blissful silence, punctuated only by the occasional drip, drip from the ceiling. Kitchen counters, soaked. Tray filled with magazines, mail and bills, soaked. Floors, soaked. Songbird, soaked. So I did the only thing that occurred to me in the moment - I laughed. Standing in a huge puddle with water dripping from my hair, I laughed until my ribs ached and my eyes teared up. And then I got the towels.

I did return to the store, this time armed with the old broken handle. Wouldn't you know, the particular type I needed cost about three times more, but hey - it's fixed!

Such is the life of the calamity bird, ladies and gentlemen. Inconvenient at times - but seldom boring.

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